2025 was one of the hardest years of my life

It's universally known that health issues can humble the proudest of people, even those who don't even need any more humbling. Dare I say, especially those who have suffered the most are often the sickest among us.

I don't think that's my case, although I have been going through it with my mental health in the last 10 years. It hasn't been easy, but I persist, and I dream and I try new things even though they're so uncomfortable. 

This year was especially hard. I have been going through it with chronic pain, weight fluctuations, hair loss, depression, loneliness and very important life decisions. On top of it, I had to fight tooth and nail for a necessary surgery: my hysterectomy. It was hard, but I did it.

Obviously, I didn't do a lot this year except take care of my health. The things I did had mostly to do with surviving and scratching itches. I went out a lot with different people from bumble BFF. The experiences were definitely not all positive, but I'm happy I did it. I'm happy I dared to dream of a true friendship, where I deserve it and the other person does too. I bought an MP3 to have my songs readily available when my phone died, I also continued my many goals from previous years, and now I have goals on top of goals, which makes things slower, but also more stable, so I'm thankful either way.

One of these goals was writting my English books and this year I finished my verb book. It still needs a lot of editing, don't expect me to have done that already... but I did finish it. 

The other goal was outlining my comics, which was so difficult that I simply started writing season 0 to see what worked. I wrote 4 episodes but they're so rough, I simply prefer to say that I've tested the waters, instead of "finished" four episodes.

Other goals I had for this year related to dieting, and exercise were neglected due to my health. I had to go back to the basics: taking medication responsibly, eating enough, walking if I can, drinking water, eating veggies, sleeping enough, etc. It was hard to do, even though they were "simple", but I did it. My goals previously had to do with pistol squats, dips and pullup bars. And although I did get close to them before getting severely sick, I can definitely not finish until the end of the year and I will let those goals for 2026 instead.

I also wanted to study for ENEM, but I couldn't do it well. I was sick, depressed, and in pain. But I did study when I could. I studied especially well for the essay, and although I don't have the grade yet, I'm hopeful this will be my best essay grade in ENEM. Who knows, maybe I can even pass in Medicine this year! 

That being said, the goals and unpredictable obstacles that I reached in 2025 will continue to pester me in 2026. I still need to:

> sell my books somehow;

> treat and advocate for my endometriosis;

> learn to write my comics, especially if I want it to feel like a TV show while also being comprehensible (which many comics are not).

> buy things to make my cats more comfy, more active, happier,

> make a friend in real life (although I tried this year, all I got was another online friend, Weronika).

> make money before I'm in med school, even if it's just a bit of money

> pass and start med school 

fuck this bitch in particular